I tend to be introspective about the happenings in my life. I like to reflect and find reasons behind why I attract certain situations and people. When I am able to look at life experiences as sources for learning, vs. as “good” or “bad,” I am able to do just that; learn! I also am able to move forward and take with me information to assist me in other areas of my life. Okay. So I’m guessing you are waiting for me to get to some kind of point. I tend to go off in tangents, so I appreciate you sticking with me on this!
Over the last several years as I have had the goal of earning a living doing what I love to do, which involves working with, and helping, people and animals. While I am fulfilled by volunteering my services, how wonderful to be able to pay my bills and feed myself and my dog, by receiving income from these same services! The fall of the US economy years ago brought on financial hardship for an increased number of people. I know for many, the priority is being able to feed themselves and their pets. Looking beyond that is an extravagance. Necessity overrides luxury when it comes to basic survival needs. I know. I have been there. Because of this, I greatly appreciate those that are able to pay for my services. I definitely do not take this for granted.
To make ends meet, while I pursue my passion and life’s work, I have taken a number of part-time jobs. Some have been permanent, like my roles at two independently owned pet stores in San Diego, Paw Country and Point Loma Pet Pantry. Others have been short term “gigs” like designing a website or writing a blog for a business, creating a resume for an individual and dog walking and petsitting. The two latter activities, of course, are my favorites on the list, since spending time with animals is one of my absolute favorite things to do on the planet!
As I continue in my life, so does the need to earn money. I have from time to time looked for more permanent full time work, with little luck in San Diego County. I did have the honor of managing Paw Country years ago, while the previous owner lived out of state. She wanted to sell the store and asked if I would step in and be the store manager during the transition. I agreed! I loved that role. It was a lot of fun and I felt that it utilized many of my skills. I enjoyed helping so many people with companion animal nutrition and other needs on a full-time daily basis.
Recently I was hired on a “trial basis” by another local small business. They started me out with designing their website. They liked my work and the help I was able to give them. The two hesitations they had initially had in hiring me were:
- I wanted a higher hourly rate than they wanted to pay.
- I didn’t have experience in their particular industry.
However, they took a chance on me because they “liked my attitude, which is really important” and were happy with my marketing, sales and computer skills. I designed their website last week and worked in their office one shift this week. However, today I was “let go.” I went in and was told that someone else that had come in asking about the job had 10 years of experience in the industry and they were also willing to work for less than I was able to. Although I was told they liked the fact that I was a woman because they have about 60% female customers, they replaced me with a male and stated that they feel like he is one of “them” because he is so experienced in their industry. There is, of course the chance they weren’t being honest with me about why they were making the choice they were making. If they are being truthful, their choice makes sense from a business perspective. They now have someone that doesn’t have to be trained on the ins and outs of their particular business and they don’t have to pay them as much. If they aren’t being honest, well… whatchya gonna do? At this point, I don’t care. I have already pulled my energy out of the situation and am moving on. Instead of working there today, I am writing this blog post. Haha! Hope you are enjoying reading it. It’s cathartic for me to do this today. 🙂
The owner was gentle and kind while delivering this information and stated that he still wants me to help with the website, if more is needed in the future. During and after receiving the news, I felt a bit shocked and definitely disappointed. I had already started feeling like part of the team, but obviously my commitment was stronger than his. I was hired to help bring them business. They couldn’t really afford to pay someone, but were willing to. And from the beginning he felt like I was a risk because his area of work is not my area of expertise. So again, from a business perspective, his choice makes sense.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t just leave after he told me I was being replaced because I wanted to write down all of the details about the website, so he and/or the “new guy” can get into their account and easily to make changes. I ended up staying almost an hour after our conversation because I needed to reset the password and of course, things were moving slowly. You know when you really want to get of a situation and the exiting process seems to take forever?! That was this instance!!
So although I was as communicative and congenial, as possible, I didn’t want to be there. I wanted to go to my office to meditate. I wanted to reflect on this situation and what I need to do next to replace what I was hoping would be additional permanent income. The main thing is that it was uncomfortable and I wanted out of there.
Even though it was a “trial basis,” I had essentially been fired. When things in life happen, they trigger past experiences. When someone says, we don’t want you anymore, it brings up those internal messages that say we aren’t good enough. It stimulates past invalidation, criticisms and other pain. These are opportunities for learning and healing. When we get in touch with past pains and restrained emotions, we can then let them go. If we choose to do so. Then we have more room to experience joy, enthusiasm and amusement. In these emotional, uncomfortable, painful moments there are many options on how we can respond. We may feel hurt, angry, defensive or vindictive. Maybe there is even relief, especially if we wanted out too. In my case, I was able to keep my professional composure and complete the tasks I needed to. I certainly was not as jovial as usual, I was relatively lighthearted and seemingly pleasant. I was of course handling the emotions my body was experiencing in a public setting when I really wanted to be alone with them. I did feel hurt and angry and like they were making a mistake. Those were some of my initial thoughts and feelings. I could have crumbled. I could have chosen to go home and pull the covers over my head. I could have escaped with a sweet doggie fix a la Rock. (I can never go wrong with that choice!) I could have called a friend to vent. I could also have taken my feelings out on the business owner. I did none of those things. I instead decided to look at the bright side!
Sometimes it can be so hard to feel like there is a bright side when you are experiencing pain and feelings of self doubt and insecurity. But honestly, after going through the untimely death of my beloved dog Ginger, just seven months after the death of my closest relative, my Grandma Sally, being replaced at a job was nothing!!! Especially after only investing a little over a week there. Dealing with the death of loved ones puts things in perspective really quick. Yes, I was disappointed that I was not going to be kept on there and I had to confront some feelings of not being good enough, but I chose to use this as a sign that I need to focus more on my passion. I decided to use this as a motivating factor to increase my commitment to my life’s work. Instead of spending hours at their office, I went directly to my office and spent time meditating. I used the visualization techniques that I practice and teach to others, to release the past pain and uncomfortable feelings. I got in touch with my body’s anger and acknowledged it and used it to help cleanse some of the heavier energies, I was experiencing. I was able to free myself from going down a road of depression and was able to experience my enthusiasm instead.
I decided before going home and getting my Chi-ROCK-Wah fix, I would needed more alone time. So I came to the library. I am writing my blog from the library’s computer. Once I go home I will tell my housemate that I no longer will be working at the job I had told him about. Until I find another position to supply additional income, I will try alternative ways to build my business so I can help doing what I love to do; helping animals and people. At this point in my life I really don’t feel fulfilled unless I am helping others. Unless of course I am taking a break and spending time with my dog, taking a nap or sharing laughs with friends at a Happy Hour. But then again, doesn’t laughter and fun make the world a brighter, happier place? Aren’t we still then, helping the world?! And resting my body whether playing with my dog or socializing with human friends or taking a rejuvenating nap, helps me to replenish my energy level. If I feel depleted and exhausted, I have little stamina to give to others. When I am refreshed and full of enthusiasm and energy, I also have hope and optimism. I can move forward with confidence and faith, do my work, help others and have energy at the end of the day to give to myself, my dog and the other animal and human friends in my life.
Oh and… if you want to learn life changing meditation techniques, I offer private one-on-one sessions, as well as for groups of friends and co-workers. I can come to your business or your home. I also offer presentations and demonstrations, as a public speaker. And if you need insight into what is going on with your companion animal or your personal or professional life, I can help! I started my energy healing and psychic reading work with people. It was my love of animals that help direct where my career went. I now offer animal communication sessions, pet nutrition consultations, positive reinforcement dog and cat training and energy healing and reading for people and animals. And as aforementioned, I love sharing the meditation techniques that changed my life.. I love what I do and I would love to help you whenever you are in need of my services. 619-797-0705 firstname.lastname@example.org
Below is a link to my first TV interview with the warm and kind reporter, Gary Kelley!
CLICK THE LINK AND WATCH ME DO A DOG READING ON TV!