The Two Minute Walk to Disneyland, Part One

Rock licking my face

This loving guy shows affection in this photo. An extreme side to his affection, is his protective nature.

I recently adopted a new dog friend, who I have named Rock. He is an adorable, fun and very smart Chihuahua. He is also my first little dog. Although he really isn’t little at all. He is a big soul in a small body. And he is very glad I added that last part, as it is an important fact!

Rock has a long list of attributes that I dearly love. Along with these lovely characteristics, he has some behaviors that I am working with him to change. Not because they are “bad” behaviors. I want him to be as confident and low stress as possible in his life. I also want to be able to bring him with me on outings and have him be comfortable. Just as his behaviors aren’t “bad,” nor is he a “bad” dog because he expresses them. In fact, I don’t believe there is such a thing as a “bad dog.” I really don’t. There are dogs that have not been well educated in the ways of the human world and they are left to struggle through life. They are often reprimanded with non-beneficial negativity and harmful harshness. All the while, they are just waiting for someone to give them a clear message. Patiently wondering what is expected of them.

dog confused cute littlee dog

Tell me what to do and I’ll do it, but please be clear because your human rules can be really confusing. Some of them don’t make any sense at all. Like why shouldn’t I jump up on people? Haven’t you watched Animal Planet? Wolves jump on each other all the time. But if you don’t want me to do that, then teach me what to do instead, and I’ll learn really fast!

As an animal communicator and pet psychic, I see so often that a dog, cat or other animal is simply in need of additional information. They are missing a piece of the puzzle that their humans may think they should know. These animals are confused, due to mixed messages or because they haven’t been shown an alternative behavior to their current ones. You can’t just tell a dog not to do something. You need to help them learn what you would like them to do instead. You need to give them something else to do with that energy. “No” means more to you than it does to them. Even if that word gets them to stop their behavior, it doesn’t teach them. This is why you have to keep saying it when the exhibit the undesired behavior. Again, it is imperative that you help them to learn what behavior you want them to do instead. It helps expedite their learning if you show them that the desired behavior is even more enjoyable than the old one! They may get an adrenaline rush from lunging and barking at the dog across the street. But if when they are calm they get a favorite treat, they can learn that calmness brings them something better than that excited, reactive behavior.

Hailey on Sindis lap cropped

This beautiful cat is named, Hailey. She is currently available for adoption at the San Diego Humane Society at 5500 Gaines St., in San Diego. I met her when I spent some time in their Adoption Gallery getting my kitty fix!

If a dog or cat or person for that matter, actually learns and chooses to change their behavior, they do it voluntarily. This is what we want. We want our companion animals to learn and then decide on their own, without being forced. The new behavior becomes a new habit and replaces the previous conditioned response. If your pet is not treat motivated, you may need to find some type of food that they really, really love and don’t get at any other time. You can also use a favorite toy, squeaker ball or anything else that is of high value, including praise and affection. Every soul is different. Adjust the reward to fit the one being educated for optimal results.

Back to my awesome new companion, Rock, who I also refer to as, Rocky. And just like the movie version a.k.a. Sylvester Stallone’s, Rocky Balboa, my Rock is complete with boxing gloves, doubled as cute white paws! I’ve been working with Sir Rock on helping him to replace excited, fear based, reactive behavior with calm, confident, behavior. My intent is to help him overcome his fears so he feels more secure and in charge. This will help him to be able to respond, vs. impulsively react. He’s making great progress, as he learns alternative behaviors. Instead of growling, barking and lunging, he can calmly watch and with confidence decide whether it is really something to fear or not. In general he has demonstrated that he is learning that the world is not as scary of a place as he thought!

One thing I have been increasing is the amount of activity in his day. Not only physical exertion, but also mental stimulation. This has come in the form of running off leash in a nearby fenced area in an neighborhood park and introducing new environments and people in his life. Mental stimulation, learning, experiencing new things and exercise are all beneficial outlets for his energy and help satisfy his intellect and curiosity. I usually drive to the park, but the last two days, we walked there for some extra stimulation and opportunities for learning. To get to the park, we need to walk on a busy street, which includes an overpass with a noisy freeway underneath. Very seldom does Rock shiver, as some Chihuahuas do when afraid or excited. However, when we walk on that street and the overpass, it is a scary experience for Rock and he does shiver. I decided to carry him over the overpass both days. As his confidence builds, my goal is to calmly walk across with him on the ground.

disneyland mickey mouse clockOnce on the other side of the overpass, we are at the park. The park and all of its amazing smells and sights, as well as the fenced in area where he can roam free off leash, I compare to Disneyland for a human child. My thought is that by pushing through his fear of walking over that overpass, leads to a great reward; Disneyland! This park is, Doggie Disneyland. This is his two minute walk to Disneyland! The walk is scary, but the reward is amazing! Is it worth the two minute walk through fear to get to the fun on the other side?

I was sharing this with one of my dog training clients today and he asked, “So does he realize that the park is Disneyland?” I laughed because today was not a Disneyland day, but it was a great day of learning. I responded, “Not yet.” To me the three most important aspects of animal training are 1) Patience 2) Compassion and 3) Going with the Flow! If I was going to add a fourth, it would be that training is not going to be “perfect.” Nothing is perfect on this earth and the attempt to achieve perfection will leave you frustrated and invalidated. “Perfection” is rigid. Life is fluid. That’s where going with the flow comes in!

I am going to add a Part II to this blog post. I am facilitating a Pet Loss Support Group with a guided meditation in San Diego at my Mission Valley office location tonight. I need to go get ready for that. But I will write more soon. In the meantime, if you need help building your animal companion’s confidence and helping them confront their fear and reach the Disneyland reward, call me at 619-797-0705 or email me at sindi@wildtame.com. It makes me happy to know that you read this. Thank you!!! -Sindi 🙂

Polite Dog Calming Signals

Looking away, sniffing the ground, licking lips and seeming to ignore are polite, “calming signals” to dogs.

Just as we have information that can be helpful to our companion animals, so do they have some lessons for us. I have learned so much about myself and human behavior, from observing and interacting with animals.

My dog, Ginger and I recently moved into a new neighborhood. We go on numerous walks everyday. During our journeys we have met many neighbors. One new neighbor is a dog that barks at us, protecting her territory, every time we pass her yard. In response to the barks, Ginger, would promptly begin giving the dog “calming signals” to communicate that she is not a threat and she respects the dog’s territory. Ginger was using these behaviors and silent communication tools in an attempt to calm the other dog.

Calming signals are a communication from one dog to the other. At first glance they may appear to be one dog simply ignoring the other. In actuality, the dog that seems to not be interested or paying attention, is in fact very much aware. As was the case of Ginger in her attempt to calm the other dog. Ginger would get some distance from the fence and would look away and either keep walking by with her head looking forward, avoiding eye contact or she would sniff at the ground, while walking. When your dog looks like she isn’t doing much, she is often doing a lot! Ginger’s behaviors were clear communications to the barking, protective dog that she had no desire to harm or challenge her or invade her territory. She was a friend, not a foe!

These same interactions happened whenever we would pass and the dog was in her yard. I noticed that sometimes she had biscuits on the porch. She would stand on the porch and bark from there, very obviously guarding what was even more important than her yard; her tasty treats! Ginger never echoed the dog’s barking or responded in any excited physical, non-verbal or audible way. Then one day last week, everything changed.

On that particular day, as we began to pass by the house I saw that the dog quickly ate her biscuits when she saw us. Meanwhile, instead of slowly passing, my dog stopped. I saw that today was going to be a different type of day for these two beauties! I said to Ginger, “Oh. You want to say hi to the doggie today.” She wagged her tail as she waited for the other dog to approach. There were no barks from the other dog. She had protected her treats by eating them and then without any sound, came down off the porch. The two dogs met at the fence and sniffed each other, looking towards each other while both wagged their tails.

It took time and patience on Ginger’s part, but they were now officially friends! The dog learned that Ginger was not a threat and that it was okay for us to walk by and also to approach. I never tried to force the relationship or even encourage things one way or the other. I allowed them the space to work things out, not having any investment in whether it ever progressed beyond what it had been. On their own, they took the time they needed to get to know each other. Ginger helped create a safe place and when our neighbor dog felt safe enough, the relationship changed. The neighbor dog was able to let go of her fear, let down her guard, allow herself to trust and reciprocate Ginger’s friendly gestures.

There was something else that was different about this day. In the yard next door to Ginger’s new friend was another dog. Although he had a stockier build, he looked very similar to Ginger’s new friend, but I was told they are not related. After enjoying a few minutes of new found friendship with the female neighbor, Ginger and the male neighbor were instantly excited to see each other and approached each other with little hesitation. The two greeted, smelling each other through the fence, wagging tails and showing genuine excitement to have met each other. Ginger started bowing, exhibiting her desire to play. She went to the gate and looked at me, trying to convince me I should open it so they could play. Instant puppy love! Although I couldn’t open up the gate or take away the fence barrier between them, I did share in the excitement of this new bond. I enjoyed watching both friendships blossom.

How people express politeness when greeting, is very different from how a dog with “good” manners might greet another dog.

Obviously there are a number of lessons that can be taken from this experience. But the main one that I want to share is that all relationships are different. All friendships are different. Each individual soul is unique. It is the two unique souls coming together that create the interaction. Since no two souls are exactly alike, it is impossible for any union to be exactly the same.

Some meetings are immediate connections of kindred souls. Others have challenges and may take time, patience, kindness and compassion to work through. Even if there is fear, avoidance or not seeing eye to eye in the beginning, that doesn’t mean there isn’t the potential for friendship or at least, civil communication.

Below are some examples of canine calming signals. Watch dogs’ interactions to see if you can spot them while they are happening! You can even try them yourself, with your dog to enhance your communication and display greater understanding.

  • Turning the head or body to the side or away
  • Looking away or averting the eyes
  • Licking lips
  • Yawning
  • Sniffing the ground
  • Moving very slowly
  • Moving in a curve or arc, not a direct path or head on towards another dog

My name is Sindi Somers. I am an animal communicator and energy reader with a desire to assist with people and animals understanding each other better. Instead of training, I like to use the word, education. Because that is really what I see it as. Using a foundation of energy awareness and positive reinforcement techniques, I approach each situation individually. No being is the same, regardless of the body it is housed in. Dogs, cats, birds, reptiles, rabbits, fish and people; regardless of the species, each soul is unique. I offer long distance sessions for anyone, anywhere in the United States and the world. However, at this time I am only able to conduct sessions in English, so an interpreter may be needed. I also offer in person sessions, including home visits in San Diego County, and at times other areas of southern California, including Orange, Los Angeles and Riverside Counties. I am available to travel to your location outside of southern California, in certain instances, depending on the situation and requested dates. Although I am available on short notice, at times depending on my schedule, advance notice is generally required for all appointments requiring short or long distance travel. I can be reached at 619-797-0705 or sindi@apetpsychic.com. Thank you for reading my blog!